What are the crazy-ass thoughts that run us?
On our way to play poker we stopped off at the beach. As we sat on a curb that separated the sand from the street that lined the oceanfront homes, we decided to meditate for 10 minutes before we left.
Without thinking much of it, I set my timer and closed my eyes. I had no idea it was going to be so hard. 10 seconds in, I heard a car pass behind me. Fear shot up my stomach.
What if a car drives off the road and runs me over? Hmmm that's unlikely. A jingle low to the ground came near me and I felt fear again. What if a dog runs up and bites me? My thoughts ran rampant this way and I kept bringing it back to my breath to stay present.
But then I wondered if people were staring at us. Do they think we look like weirdos sitting here with our eyes closed? But then again, why should I care if they do think I'm weird? I'm just sitting here, breathing. Oh ya, back to the breath.
I had no idea I meditating at the beach would be such a practice in trust. When the timer went off, Andrew and I looked at each other and smiled. Peace and love was all I felt. Afterwards I realized that the thoughts I had about worst case, extremely unlikely scenarios and about what people think about me were just that -- thoughts. Irrational and irrelevant thoughts. Thoughts that provide no value to me.
And with observance, I can make sure these thoughts that don't run me. Without being able to observe these crazy thoughts and separate myself from them, I have often felt like my thoughts were reality. In me, that created smallness and anxiety. I told Andrew how interesting that experience was and he felt exactly the same.
On this podcast, I talk about how sinister our thoughts can be and easily they may sabotage our success.