For those of you just joining this podcast, my mission in the world is to be an inspiration who empowers people to create the lives they want. The thing that stands between what we want and have is fear. We move past fear by taking risks. If you are taking risks to get the life that you want please join us on social media and post with the hashtag #RiskEveryday.
Today, I am going to talk about a moment that I have been avoiding talking about, but I think it is time. After recording the episode with Suki Sohn where she became so vulnerable and overcame a heartbreak that took her to rock bottom, inspired me to share my story. Regular listeners know about my life experience with my husband and our healing from infidelity. Things are so great now, and I am so grateful for what we have been through.
It’s time for me to talk about healing and the tangible parts of moving forward during that time, and what I learned moving through it. If you are experiencing heartbreak currently, I want this podcast to be a place that you can lean on and come back to when you need help. I have been procrastinating the sharing of this part of my life, but you guys are my tribe and I want to share with you and inspire you. I hope my truth makes an impact.
[05:15] Almost four years ago, I found out my husband had a short affair for a couple of weeks. We had been married about 3 years at the time.
[05:53] I knew things weren’t great, and that we had been fighting and that he felt depressed and disconnected. We weren’t really on the same page. I never thought it would lead to possible divorce.
[07:23] I was devastated when I found out. Heartbreak can be shocking. When it sets in the grief, sadness, and stress can be overwhelming.
[08:05] Fortunately, I had a session scheduled with relationship coach Aaron Steinberg. I already knew I needed to speak with someone and had already had the call scheduled.
[08:54] The whole conversation was a blur except for the end of the call. No matter what make sure that you take care of yourself. Aaron ended the call with these simple words. I knew this came from a place of caring and love.
[10:08] First and foremost, take care of yourself. Whatever that means to you.
[10:40] For me, taking care of myself was eating. I was just so stressed that eating didn’t feel like an option. So, I got a green juice. I also needed to try to sleep.
[12:27] Every time I had a terrible feeling I would hear the voice say take care of yourself. I was also reluctant to lean on anyone, but this is the time it is important to give yourself permission to ask for help.
[13:36] Sarah had snacks and wine waiting for me. I couldn’t ask for a better person to be with me at that time. I also drank a lot of wine.
[14:32] How it is tempting to drink during these rough times, but it is important to keep in mind that alcohol is a depressant and it can exacerbate the depression.
[16:03] A part of me saw the beauty of leaning on a friend.
[17:05] Sarah also did my makeup and wanted to make me feel beautiful.
[18:05] I had rage, stress, anxiety, and neediness. Sarah was wise enough to tell me that going out that night was a bad idea.
[20:00] Even when you are going through the worst of it, ask yourself what you really want. Let that want guide you when you are weak.
[22:02] I knew I could fight for my marriage coming from a clean place. Part of healing was sleeping in the den on a spare mattress.
[24:27] I was lying there and saw light shining on a photo of Andrew and me laughing. What am I doing on the floor in the den? I realized we were both trying together.
[26:22] I latched onto the ribbon of beauty and allowed it to expand and heal parts of me.
[27:38] Find the beauty and let it carry you during the darkest time, and let it expand when you can.
[28:52] Take care of yourself, make decisions based on what you really want, and find the beauty.
[29:53] I wake up everyday grateful that both of us went through this heartbreak.
Links and Resources:
How to Heal from Heartbreak with Suki Sohn
Episode 00: Premiere of the Wtf Am I Doing With My Life Podcast!
How and Why We Saved Our Marriage
Why Fighting With Your Significant Other Is Actually Great with Aaron Steinberg
Sarah Herring @AuntyChardonnay